jest for pun (March'05)

March '05 BlogThoughts

Every calendar's days are numbered.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner (b. 1956) - American comedian, actress.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. - Evelyn Waugh

Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind. - Austin O'Malley

remember, where there is a will there is a way (to go)!

tame the monkey

meet and eat

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping. - Cecil Adams (on the game Dungeons and Dragons, from Straight Dope)

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me. -Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) British Novelist and playwright

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. - William Faulkner (1897 - 1962) American author. Nobel prize winner.

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section. - Norm Crosby

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

It requires a great deal of faith for a man to be cured by his own placebos. - John L. Mcclenahan

PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it. - Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary

Doctors pour drugs of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, into patients of whom they know nothing. - Moliere (1622 - 1673)

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams (b. 1952) - American Oscar winning actor.

A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor. - Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

Picture Book

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans. - P. J. ORourke (b. 1947) - American political satirist.

The trouble with words is that you never know whose mouths they've been in. - Dennis Potter

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything. - Herb Caen

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. - Robert Frost

Never judge a book by its movie. - J. W. Eagan

Commit a crime and the earth is made of glass. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams. - Rita Rudner (b. 1956) - American comedian, actress.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - (1880 - 1956) Henry Louis Mencken, US Critic and Editor.